Generally, a dictionary defines a loner as a person who is or prefers to be alone, especially one who avoids the company of others. A loner can be anyone and it is not a condition or a disorder. Being a loner is simply a personality trait, and it simply implies a person’s mind, thought process, approach towards life and lifestyle itself by being a loner.
However, most people think that people are loners because they are either lonely or are depressed whatsoever. That is not true. People choose to be loners just because they enjoy being alone, not because they have something against interacting with humans. For instance, a loner might tend to stay away from fun and frolic, doesn’t blend in with the crowds and doesn’t share a hearty laugh, but they could be highly charismatic during parties or social gatherings with people outside work or school when they want to.
With that in mind, how can you know if you are, in fact, a loner? There are some specific indicators which can help you decide:
1) You seldom initiate communication with others. You don’t phone, text, or write unless it is necessary. Even then, you do much more listening than sharing your own thoughts or feelings and are considered by many to be a good listener and the perfect choice for one to pour out their woes or to.
2) You have few friends and very few intimate relationships as you take longer than usual to form friendship bonds. Also, in the even that you are in a group and a stranger joins, you may quickly withdraw from the group and just be alone and do your own thing.
3) Your hobbies and pastimes are activities that can be done alone, like reading, writing, locking yourself in a room and watch Netflix, origami etc.
4) You prefer to make plans by yourself or with one trusted friend. You will only share events of your past, present or possible future with a close family member or with a true friend of longstanding. And when talking with a trusted friend or family member, you can be as vocal as anyone else, although you may need to pause often to collect your thoughts.
5) You seldom have plans for special days, such as birthdays, New Year’s Eve, or Valentine’s Day, and even if you have plans, you normally plan to do things alone.
6) Having to interact with a group of people for a relatively long period leaves you feeling emotionally and mentally drained. And once you get drained, you immediately shut yourself off from the rest of the world.
7) If you are a loner, you are less likely to be confined to social norms or stay loaded with commitments. Henceforth, you would tend take the paths less traveled and do non-mainstream things and, in the process, become wiser since, in my opinion, wisdom is attained by thoughts, realizations and by doing what is not being done. As such, when loners do speak (which is not that often compared to others), your words tend to be more though-provoking.
8) You normally dislike interacting with people or going to social events, as mentioned before, but on the rare occasion where you suddenly feel like interacting, you can be very charismatic, joyful and an awesome person to be with, even though this will only last a while before you revert back to your loner self after satisfying your temporary desire to interact.
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